Yeah, not even close.

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But it is a grill complete with an “e” in a Holiday Inn (for whose grandness I’ll always vouch)—

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where the waitress managed, much to her own surprise, to unearth a full-grown bottle of wine amid the baby bottlettes of Sutter Home white zin;

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the ol’ split-top dinner rolls were still warm;

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& the buffet, AYCE for $8.99, had an actual whole smoked salmon garnished with cubes of cheddar, actually tender & juicy (for all its thorough cooking) prime rib, actually-terrible-but-awesome creamy broccoli salad with raisins & sunflower seeds

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& all the heart-of-the-heartland fixins,

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along with everything else from teriyaki to minestrone. What more can you ask for? We may find out on the drive back to Denver from Cedar Rapids. I’m thinking fishsticks.