For the full story, see the Denver Post, which gives it up for recent Denveater interviewee Patrick "Deep Dish" Bertoletti, who somehow managed to choke down nearly 4 lbs. of deep-fried bulls' balls in 10 minutes. Ugh. And for pics galore, check out this A-Bomb blogpost—you'll see Joe in the 8th & 9th pictures from the top, the guy with glasses right next to the dude in the giant blue cowboy hat. I checked back with our hero of Asia Xpress shortly after the contest was over.

So how was it?

Well, it was interesting. Eating cold Rocky Mountain oysters is like eating cold, chewy batter. Not too pleasant.

How many did you eat?

I think officially I ate 3/4 pound, all but 3 pieces on my plate. I couldn't get over the chewiness.

What wisdom, if that's the right word, did you glean from the experience?

I suppose the obvious lesson I learned was that as much as I love to eat, I don't like eating mass amounts of one flavor. Also, I had trained for capacity—to be honest, I just ate Chipotle because the RMOs didn't fill me up—but I should have trained my chewing speed. I would have done much better.

What's next on your speed-eating agenda?

I'm leaning toward doing the Taste of Colorado ice-cream eating contest, just one more time. Then I may retire. It's a pint of Dreyer's. Not sure which flavor they'll use this year—last year it was Drumstick; the year before that I had mint chocolate chip.

***
Well, there you have it, folks—the 10-minute rise & fall of a competitve eater. Let that be a lesson in moderation to you—or don't. Tramps like us, baby, we were born to gobble everything in sight & regret it afterward.